Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Our big changes
Almost 4 months ago, I experienced the most beautiful, powerful and amazing birth of a lovely little boy. Since then, many changes in our family have taken place. When I was pregnant with our fourth child, as I sat and daydreamed about how life with 4 kids would be, I knew there would be some new changes, new dynamics and yet I knew in some ways, things would still be the same. I still do laundry, just more of it. I still cut up large pieces of food, I still wipe many bottoms. Those things are all the same really. Many things have intensified. Having a sick child is difficult, having 4 sick children is near impossible and if I'm sick too...forget it! The same really with getting things done. Getting in the car and being on time with one child is hard, with 4 it can be a nightmare. Figuring out a way to have one child participate and "help" with cooking or chores can be a exercise in creativity, and managing 4 while trying to accomplish...well anything really....might as well require a degree in art. Things that were minor issues are now glaringly in-your-face. "Maybe we have too many toys" as a passing thought is now a daily curse as I am stumbling through them to get to a destructive toddler with infant in tow. The idea that I should probably have some "just me" time occasionally has become an insistent pounding chant while I scurry from one moment to the next. All the while trying to rush through the hard parts, the quicker we move along, the sooner we can get away from the struggles. And yet.....
The sweet spots. The sweet, tender, moments of beauty and pure love...oh how they should slow, still like a glassy clear lake in Autumn. Hello, precious smiling baby. Good morning sweet and curious toddler. What wonderous ideas you have gentle and funny oldest brother! Tell me more lovely stories, beautiful daughter. Oh how I wish these moments would go on and on. But how can you rush and slow, rush and slow, and not miss anything? And so the answer was waving at me, slow slow slow.
It has been said, time and again, to stop and smell the roses. Yes, and kiss the peanut butter faces and little soft pudgy toes. We are simplifying. Toys are few and loved, as are books, decorations, clothing. Outside excursions are limited as well. In a world full of school, homework, afterschool programs, soccer, swimming, piano, and on and on...we are saying NO THANKS. And perhaps this is a nice way to rationalize lazy behavior on my part. The mere idea of hauling 4 kids around to activities all week gives me hives. But it is also mostly because I don't think kids need all these things and in fact, could potentially be harmful. There are plenty of studies that show even though children are capable of huge amounts of information downloading, that by the time they are in like 3rd grade, they are burnt out. And really? Being capable of regurgitating rote memorization and actually knowing something are two completely different things. I would say that a true measure of knowledge is not in how you can recite a count to 20 when you are 3 or 4 or 5, but whether you understand the value of those numbers. It is not whether a child can recall "sight words" but whether they enjoy the content they are reading. Drilling children over and over, at least my children, would be a futile effort in what we hold truly important...a love of learning, a happy and fulfilled person. But I am getting sidetracked. I am truly happy and excited to say that another recent decision is that we are homeschooling. I would say "change" but it isn't so much different than what we've always done, involving our children in our lives, talking to them, taking them on "field trips". Madelyn is still in dance and we are active in a co-op that meets with other kids on an almost weekly basis. This week we are going to the state park for some nature studies.
We have rearranged our living room in another effort to simplify and truly to have our living room reflect the way we actually live. We rarely watch television and so it seemed counterproductive to have everything centered on the tv. We moved it into a movie/computer room and now have ample room for playing, creating, dancing, running and cuddling up with a book. The tv is now purposeful, we intentionally go to watch a show we like or a movie instead of just using it out of convenience. The changes have been dramatic. The imaginitive play has exploded, the conversation between the kids and parents, between the parents themselves, has expanded. It is no longer the focal point of our days, it has been ousted from that psuedo-seat, since it never truly was our focus anyway. Our toys are display only, no bins or boxes, with a toy library set up in a locked closet.
Mealtimes are another simplification we have undertaken. My health is not great and my weight will greatly effect that. I will be going in for a minor surgery next week to help with some of it. Meanwhile, we have recreated our family food pyramid: veggies and fruit at the base, meat and nuts on the next tier, dairy on the next and way up top? grains and sugars. It's going fantastically, I've never had as much energy, the kids are big veggie and meat eaters anyway and in 3 weeks I've easily begun to fit back into my pre pregnancy jeans, which is a record for me this soon!
And so, we've added an addition to our family, who taught us to manage and organize, who changed our lives for the best! It's amazing how each child has so much to teach us about life. We've changed our eating habits, our home environment, our lifestyles and on top of all these changes, Jeremy started a new job! In many ways, this actually complicates life, he is no longer only 10 minutes away and able to come home for lunch, but it will simplify the money situation!
I hope to continue on this path toward a peaceful and harmonious home. Taking things slowly, enjoying each moment. Reaffirming our commitment to gentle parenting and our relationships with one another. Has it been almost 4 months already? Has it been close to 6 years now that I became a mother? Slow down time, stand still for a moment. I want to gorge on this moment so fat with chaotic life. I want to hold onto these little times, whether hard or soft, crazy or easy. These are the memories I will cherish one day when my hands are small and wrinkled, when my heart is old and fragile.
The sweet spots. The sweet, tender, moments of beauty and pure love...oh how they should slow, still like a glassy clear lake in Autumn. Hello, precious smiling baby. Good morning sweet and curious toddler. What wonderous ideas you have gentle and funny oldest brother! Tell me more lovely stories, beautiful daughter. Oh how I wish these moments would go on and on. But how can you rush and slow, rush and slow, and not miss anything? And so the answer was waving at me, slow slow slow.
It has been said, time and again, to stop and smell the roses. Yes, and kiss the peanut butter faces and little soft pudgy toes. We are simplifying. Toys are few and loved, as are books, decorations, clothing. Outside excursions are limited as well. In a world full of school, homework, afterschool programs, soccer, swimming, piano, and on and on...we are saying NO THANKS. And perhaps this is a nice way to rationalize lazy behavior on my part. The mere idea of hauling 4 kids around to activities all week gives me hives. But it is also mostly because I don't think kids need all these things and in fact, could potentially be harmful. There are plenty of studies that show even though children are capable of huge amounts of information downloading, that by the time they are in like 3rd grade, they are burnt out. And really? Being capable of regurgitating rote memorization and actually knowing something are two completely different things. I would say that a true measure of knowledge is not in how you can recite a count to 20 when you are 3 or 4 or 5, but whether you understand the value of those numbers. It is not whether a child can recall "sight words" but whether they enjoy the content they are reading. Drilling children over and over, at least my children, would be a futile effort in what we hold truly important...a love of learning, a happy and fulfilled person. But I am getting sidetracked. I am truly happy and excited to say that another recent decision is that we are homeschooling. I would say "change" but it isn't so much different than what we've always done, involving our children in our lives, talking to them, taking them on "field trips". Madelyn is still in dance and we are active in a co-op that meets with other kids on an almost weekly basis. This week we are going to the state park for some nature studies.
We have rearranged our living room in another effort to simplify and truly to have our living room reflect the way we actually live. We rarely watch television and so it seemed counterproductive to have everything centered on the tv. We moved it into a movie/computer room and now have ample room for playing, creating, dancing, running and cuddling up with a book. The tv is now purposeful, we intentionally go to watch a show we like or a movie instead of just using it out of convenience. The changes have been dramatic. The imaginitive play has exploded, the conversation between the kids and parents, between the parents themselves, has expanded. It is no longer the focal point of our days, it has been ousted from that psuedo-seat, since it never truly was our focus anyway. Our toys are display only, no bins or boxes, with a toy library set up in a locked closet.
Mealtimes are another simplification we have undertaken. My health is not great and my weight will greatly effect that. I will be going in for a minor surgery next week to help with some of it. Meanwhile, we have recreated our family food pyramid: veggies and fruit at the base, meat and nuts on the next tier, dairy on the next and way up top? grains and sugars. It's going fantastically, I've never had as much energy, the kids are big veggie and meat eaters anyway and in 3 weeks I've easily begun to fit back into my pre pregnancy jeans, which is a record for me this soon!
And so, we've added an addition to our family, who taught us to manage and organize, who changed our lives for the best! It's amazing how each child has so much to teach us about life. We've changed our eating habits, our home environment, our lifestyles and on top of all these changes, Jeremy started a new job! In many ways, this actually complicates life, he is no longer only 10 minutes away and able to come home for lunch, but it will simplify the money situation!
I hope to continue on this path toward a peaceful and harmonious home. Taking things slowly, enjoying each moment. Reaffirming our commitment to gentle parenting and our relationships with one another. Has it been almost 4 months already? Has it been close to 6 years now that I became a mother? Slow down time, stand still for a moment. I want to gorge on this moment so fat with chaotic life. I want to hold onto these little times, whether hard or soft, crazy or easy. These are the memories I will cherish one day when my hands are small and wrinkled, when my heart is old and fragile.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Chaotic Harmony
If I were to describe what our home looks like with a family of 6 living in it, I would say "Chaotic Harmony". What does that mean exactly? I have no idea, but it sounds good!
Perhaps some pictures might help to illustrate.
Well loved and used toys all have a home, just none of them live there.
The soft and vibrant diaper covers hang to dry, the craft table is covered in supplies which are organized by the toss and run approach.
The children all working together to clean the windows; the current furniture renovation project is no longer hidden by finger smudges!
The warm sun streaming through the window covered in the latest artwork. This is our "picture window"
It is the balancing of life. The chaotic living of children, the passionate love for all things messy and the harmonizing their cravings for space and play with our needs of simplicity and safety. The Chaotic Harmony.
Perhaps some pictures might help to illustrate.
Well loved and used toys all have a home, just none of them live there.
The soft and vibrant diaper covers hang to dry, the craft table is covered in supplies which are organized by the toss and run approach.
The children all working together to clean the windows; the current furniture renovation project is no longer hidden by finger smudges!
The warm sun streaming through the window covered in the latest artwork. This is our "picture window"
It is the balancing of life. The chaotic living of children, the passionate love for all things messy and the harmonizing their cravings for space and play with our needs of simplicity and safety. The Chaotic Harmony.
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